unsolicited advice

do you have ten minutes to talk about our predispositions?

some of the things found on the web (not the gippity) about “advice”:

• is it “advice” or “advise”?

• “advice” is an opinion / guidance someone offers you about what you should do or how you should act in a particular situation. or vice versa.

• synonyms for “advice” include counseling, help, direction, instruction, recommendation, suggestion.

as a friend, i give solicited and unsolicited advice all the time and i receive solicited and unsolicited advice all the time. sometimes, the advice i give is very good advice, i am told, other times it feels like too much. all in all, giving advice seems to be more of a compulsion a lot of the times, like an emotional sneeze disguised as care. not so much about the other person, but about me, the advice giver, who gets to hear herself talk and feels better after having imparted some of her hard acquired knowledge.

same goes for a certain type of curiosity. being curiously inquisitive about someone (at the right moment and with the right intensity) can feel like warmth and bonding, i feelthink, but too curious (at the wrong moment) can feel like the FBI is trying to get inside your mind without a warrant. right & wrong are determined case by case, according to each person’s emotional baggage.

as a working person in charge of things getting done on time, i use the synonims “suggest” and “recommend” a lot. sometimes i lightly suggest. other times i strongly recommend. small or medium changes, improvements, approaching things with a different attitude. it always makes me giggle about how serious things get when you have to strongly recommend a course of action. sometimes, strong suggestions come from another person i call on to step in with their big authority. such a silly game.

i've thought and worked on this advice habit throughout the years, by consciously going through short periods where i refrained and monitored myself from giving advice. it's tough and i learned a lot about myself and others, in the process. so much advice dispatched so much of the time.

like most people walking the earth at this global moment in time, i think i know best a lot of times. which, i guess, it’s true, for me. i know what’s best for me and, perhaps, i can speculate what’s best for you, a member of my family, or for you, a close friend or for you, a co-worker. but i definitely don’t know.

my dad told me at some point that you shouldn't give people advice unless people ask for it. riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. i’m not 100% sure about that, but i agree for the most part. however, not sure my dad applies that for myself or he has found a very subtle way of replacing advice with criticism, ups.

some light guiding :)

currently, advice is has taken multiple other shapes in my life.

1. guiding/ helping - it has evolved into a game type situation, as you see in this exercise above. this was send to nis pilot, the whatsapp group i’m trying things out with, at the moment.

2. directing - i’m thinking more and more about directing a video essay, a short mixed media project, a community installation, a very personal audiovisual project. and guide the audiovisual process and a team alongside a vision.

3. last, but not least, recommendations have become my new unsolicited advice, but not just to anyone, though sometimes this flares up and gets out of control. usually, i recommend stuff to my female family group. podcasts, newsletter, local events, gifs. i am not yet sure if it’s welcomed or not, but i will keep on doing it because i think at the end of the day it’s a form of tiny love acts. though i will pace myself because too much of anything raises some eyebrows.

so, i’m not saying everyone should try the exercise above, but also i’m not saying everyone shouldn’t.

nothing is static (nis) is a feelthink tank, a digital cookie jar for human ideas. serious, but light. guest texts welcomed.